Couch to Half-Marathon?

Today began training (again) for a half marathon. I'm already feeling incredibly embarrassed about my first day back:

I'm at my heaviest weight ever
I'm 45 years old and going through a mid-life identity crisis
My schedule during the next several weeks of training is going to be so brutal, I'm not sure I can finish
My knees, ankles, shins and even my abs were protesting the entire time I deigned to jog/walk 3 miles

And yet...maybe this is how everyone feels when they know they can't continue their sedentary lifestyle? Maybe all of us have a negative voice within us, telling us we CANT, we SHOULDNT. My doctor told me at my last appointment that I really should lose 20 pounds by my next birthday. Well. That appointment was 7 months ago, and here I am, having lost nothing. Yes, I had the cold of death over the winter months, but somehow my appetite wasn't effected. I'm sure my wine consumption during the chilly winter didn't help my cause either, but come on!

Small victory today: I did commit to running (well, walking/jogging) the 3 miles I'd planned to do. Made a small goal and achieved it. In the process of running, I felt as if my body had never done this before, and the reality is, THIS body had never done it before. 2 years ago I ran my last half-marathon with my sister and I was amazed and how terrible carrying extra weight can be. My knees could barely support my large new body, even though I emotionally had the muscle memory of my past, svelte self.

Small victory last night: I made "Warm the fuck up! Minestrone soup" containing lots of vegys, plus a yummy chicken sausage. NO pizza for dinner tonight. NO fast food on the way home. NO 6-pack of beer. I will treat my body to at least one vegy-dominant meal per day for the next 82 days, and then we'll see.

Wishing all of us out there who struggle, patience (yeah, right!) and the ability to see past today. It's not a sprint, it's a half-marathon.